who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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