I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
