this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she peed on how many people?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.