Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.

(1-865): View more from Tennessee

i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.

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(865): mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml. (1-865): i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi. http://tfl.nu/9era

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

What'd you say?

(248): View more from Michigan

I told him I was sleep driving

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(248): I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work. (1-248): What'd you say? (248): I told him I was sleep driving http://tfl.nu/ghd6

Replies (3) Good night (1415) Bad night (432)
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(916): View more from California

I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.

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(916): I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d. http://tfl.nu/ncdi

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(540): View more from Virginia

i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!

(804): View more from Virginia

a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.

(804): View more from Virginia

That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.

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(540): i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater! (804): a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf. (804): That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit. http://tfl.nu/wspf

Replies (115) Good night (785) Bad night (3097)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head

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(262): i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head http://tfl.nu/xp32

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

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(724): I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet. http://tfl.nu/hq1s

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(410): View more from Maryland

Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

(301): View more from Maryland

I accept this challenge.

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(410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm

Replies (60) Good night (18539) Bad night (1686)
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(845): View more from New York

What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know

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(845): What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know http://tfl.nu/y6wb

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(516): View more from New York

you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.

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(516): you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito. http://tfl.nu/qluq

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.

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(541): I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom. http://tfl.nu/ubxd

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(314): View more from Missouri

Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine

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(314): Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine http://tfl.nu/lktn

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(281): View more from Texas

Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.

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(281): Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/z4q3

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle

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(732): we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle http://tfl.nu/y8fm

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(718): View more from New York

She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.

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(718): She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love. http://tfl.nu/h785

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(801): View more from Utah

My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

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(801): My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend http://tfl.nu/2vrs

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