so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm getting married