Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
