For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
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I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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