dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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