before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can you bring me the toilet please
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
