i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
