i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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