I just saw a hot homeless man
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
