Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
