if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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