just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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