So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
