I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
