woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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