Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
