Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
