I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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