Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
