just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
