so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
