I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
