I must be too annoying 4 u.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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