so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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