That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
