Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
