Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby