You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...