you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.