Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK