lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
