Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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