piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I didn't shave. On purpose
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
