"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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