when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
