Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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