I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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