mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
