One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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