the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize