Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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