I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Who died my cat blue again?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
