Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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