Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
