Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
