if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
vagina is talking i cant
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
