Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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