i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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