he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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