Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
