Well apparently he's into motor boating.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
