I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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