I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We need to get me chipped asap
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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