just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
this will be a night to untag.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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