btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
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Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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