So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
