Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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