thus making me awesome and them whores
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
