I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
